Women are often told that to succeed at work, they should just be more confident. However, research suggests that this advice is not as helpful as we might think. Is it time we ditched the confidence rhetoric for good?

If you were to picture an ideal leader, what would they look like?

When we talk about the qualities a leader must embody, the same terms crop up again and again: decisiveness, integrity and, above all, confidence. 

Aspiring leaders often find themselves being given the same career advice again and again: to get ahead in your career, simply demonstrate more confidence in yourself and your ideas. 

According to a recent study by Dr. Darren T. Baker, UCD Michael Smurfit Graduate Business School, Ireland, and Dr. Juliet Bourke, UNSW Business School, published in the Harvard Business Review, it is female employees who are most often on the receiving end of this advice. 

Upon interviewing 30 male and 36 female executives in the UK about their career trajectories, the research found that women were far more likely than men to be held back at work by a perceived lack of self-confidence, indicating that the concept of confidence at work is more gendered than we might think.

The research also indicated that the confidence rhetoric does more harm than good in the long term when it comes to women’s professional growth and psychological wellbeing. 

The confidence balancing act

On the surface, confidence at work appears to be a gender-neutral concept; whether a leader can be self-assured and assertive surely has nothing to do with their gender.

However, Baker’s and Bourke’s  research showed that women were significantly more concerned than men about the level of confidence they were exhibiting at work.

During the study, both male and female interviewees were asked to describe the key factors shaping their own career progression and that of their peers. The majority of women in the study (33 out of 36) cited confidence, or a lack thereof, as a barrier to their progress. 

In contrast to this, none of the men interviewed named confidence as an obstacle to their own advancement. Only six of the men mentioned confidence, and in all these cases it was in relation to their female colleagues. 

For instance, one male interviewee noted that some women in his organisation were held back by a lack of self-belief. 

“I find our women… lack self-confidence because they undersell themselves and point out their own weaknesses rather than promoting their strengths,” he said,”Sometimes our women partners can be a little aggressive in an interview. I’m not sure if they lack confidence or are overcompensating for something.”

“It was [my colleague’s] self-confidence. She was extremely capable and if she had the confidence to match, she would have been more successful,” said another male respondent.

The study revealed a common thread in the women’s experiences: most of them saw themselves as walking on a knife edge, always trying to project the right amount of self-confidence without being seen as aggressive or ‘overdoing it’.

Dr. Juliet Bourke explains the impact that this pressure can have on women’s mental health at work.

“Women start to self-blame and ruminate over it,” she says. “They start to doubt their capabilities, when the standard against which they’ve been judged is unattainable. If you’re given an unattainable goal, and keep on reaching for it and not making it, then not only does it erode your self-confidence, but it starts to eat away at your self-worth.”

Challenging the confidence prototype

To understand the nature and extent of confidence bias, Bourke says we need to look closely at the influences on women in the early stages of their careers.

“The advice that women tend to be given is that to be a leader, you need to demonstrate confidence, but not at a level that will tip you into being unlikable,” she says.

“It seems very easy for women to fall into the ‘unlikable’ category, whereas men are given more leeway to behave in a way that demonstrates bravado. We don’t see Donald Trump or Boris Johnson being counselled about exuding far too much confidence. In fact, confidence is their persona. And that’s why they’re seen as leaders – because they’re so confident in their capabilities.”

“If you’re given an unattainable goal, and keep on reaching for it and not making it, then not only does it erode your self-confidence, but it starts to eat away at your self-worth.” – Dr. Juliet Bourke, Professor of Practice, UNSW Business School

While we tend to see confidence as an issue for individuals, she says, gender bias is a systemic issue and should be treated as such. Focusing on the individual can distract organisations from recognising underlying barriers to gender equity, such as what Bourke calls ‘prototype bias’.

“The prototype of a leader is often a tall, white, heterosexual male. And those who don’t fit that prototype find themselves in a difficult position,” she says.

“If there are any behaviours which are in contrast to that prototype, people think we need to change those behaviours, rather than [recognising] there are many ways to be a leader. And the confidence stereotype is just one way to be a leader.”

In their study, Baker and Bourke explored the idea that the most effective leaders are not necessarily those who constantly project confidence and bravado at work. Trying to do so not only affected their own mental health, but that of others around them.

Although their research found that showing confidence helped women in the short term by allowing them to break down issues into manageable actions and have a sense of positive agency, in the longer term, these positive effects were outweighed by self-doubt and self-criticism when their efforts did not translate into professional success.

Moreover, the study found that while confidence in a leader was beneficial in times of uncertainty, demonstrating humility and vulnerability had a humanising effect on a leader that supported psychological safety in others and allowed for a more inclusive work environment.

Women are not the only victims

While the research was focused primarily on the influence of the confidence rhetoric on women, Bourke stresses that there are several other factors apart from gender that can disadvantage people who do not fit the confident prototype. 

“Men themselves are held to this high standard of exuding confidence. For men who are shy, there’s no authenticity in their bravado. So they themselves might have to live up to a standard that feels uncomfortable,” she says. 

“When people are quiet, it can be misinterpreted as lacking in confidence. But if you think about people who are introverted, they don’t lack confidence, they just don’t process information in an external way, which is often what we think of as confidence.”

This is especially true when it comes to people whose culture has a different perspective on appropriate communication styles, she says.

“Some people are taught that respect for authority is demonstrated by not speaking over the top of someone and not challenging their opinion – it’s not that they lack confidence in their point of view, but the way that they express it is not to be brash, bold or domineering.

“Behaviours from these other cultures and groups of people are misinterpreted through the lens of confidence, as opposed to recognising that that is how they demonstrate respect.” 

How should leaders respond?

Based on the results of the study, Baker and Bourke offer a number of useful actions that leaders can take to address confidence bias and its effects. Bourke believes that the most effective action we can take to nip it in the bud is by eliminating, or at least drastically reducing, the confidence rhetoric in relation to career progression.

“[Leaders should look at] the systemic barriers for women, and think about the criteria by which they judge whether to recruit someone, whether to promote them, whether to develop them, who gets exited first, and so on.

“If you look at someone’s performance outcomes [by asking], did they make good decisions, and were they on time? Were projects brought in on budget? Did they bring more work in? Did they influence people to do projects? Those things are quantifiable, rather than this amorphous feedback, ‘You should just be more confident.’”

It’s also essential that men are included in these conversations, she says, not only because some are victims of confidence bias themselves, but also because the research has shown that the bias is not something that either men or women tend to be aware of.

“It’s not directed at men in a finger-pointing kind of way. We have all been asleep to this issue. So we need to bring it up in the conversation as an unconscious bias,” says Bourke.

She notes that women-only training programs, however well-intentioned, often end up reinforcing the stereotypes that inform the systemic bias when it comes to confidence.

“I can see that there are some reasons why you might want to have women-only training courses because sometimes women don’t want to talk about things in a mixed group. However, [these programs] reinforce the idea that women are in need of curative advice in a way that men are not,” she says. “I haven’t seen any evidence that going through those programs actually enables women to accelerate their careers. 

“Whereas, if men and women are integrated into a leadership development program, they can learn alongside each other the capabilities to be a leader. I don’t think that the capabilities to be a leader are gendered. Are you able to influence people? Are you a visionary? Are you of good character? Are you decisive? Those things are not gendered at all. So why have leadership programs where women get special attention to ‘correct’ their behaviours?”

Bourke says redesigning our training programs to be more inclusive, as well as declaring a moratorium on the confidence narrative, will go a long way in making good leadership a truly gender-neutral concept.

This article is from the March 2023 edition of HRM Magazine.

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