Learn about the three different types of friction that could be getting in the way of your ideas getting greenlit – and how to address them.

Ever feel like you’re throwing brilliant ideas into the void? You’ve done the research, built the business case, and… crickets. The problem? You’re adding fuel to the fire when you might want to consider reducing the drag.

HR practitioners are natural born problem-solvers – constantly developing initiatives to improve culture, drive performance, strengthen wellbeing and evolve the employee experience. But as every HR leader knows, having a great idea isn’t the hard part. The real battle is getting buy-in from the power players who can make or break that idea. 

Often, that will be the HR leader themselves, but it’s also highly likely that there will be a few other executives whom you’ll need to convince. That’s not always simple.

I spent 14 years in executive search and staffing. During that time, I partnered with countless HR leaders who had compelling, thoughtful and strategic ideas about how to address talent gaps. Many were keen to partner externally to solve difficult hiring challenges. But even with a rock-solid business case, they kept hitting the same wall – stakeholders who just weren’t ready to get on board.

Their mistake? Thinking they needed to simply sell their idea harder.

They’d add more fuel to the fire, so to speak – showing more case studies, more data, more statistics – in the hope of finally convincing a hesitant stakeholder. But what they often failed to realise is that resistance isn’t usually a knowledge problem. It’s a friction problem.

Read HRM’s article ‘How to make your presentations more impactful with data‘.

If fuel pushes the idea forward, friction holds it back

When I speak to HR audiences about influence, I use the metaphor of a racing boat. A fast boat has two things working in its favour: propulsion (fuel) and design (reduced drag). If you pour on more fuel but ignore the drag, you don’t go faster, you just waste energy.

That’s what happens in organisational settings when people try to push their ideas through without addressing resistance. You can’t just pour in more fuel and hope for the best. That’s like throwing more wind at a sailboat and wondering why it’s not winning the race.

What really creates momentum is reducing the friction that holds ideas back. 

I remember working with a CHRO who was pushing for a new DEI initiative. She had all the data, but her exec team was stuck in neutral. When we stopped piling on stats and focused on reducing their resistance, suddenly the conversation shifted.

In my work, I’ve identified three common types of friction that stall ideas before they gain traction, and each one has a specific antidote.

Friction #1: Inertia – “We’ve never done it that way.”

The first and most familiar form of resistance is status quo bias. People naturally cling to what’s familiar, even when ‘good enough’ is quietly holding them back. Inertia shows up in phrases like:

• “That’s not how we’ve done things before.”
• “We’ve always managed this internally.”
• “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.”

The instinct here is to double down and sell harder. But that only reinforces the resistance. When people are locked into inertia, they’re not looking for more logic, they’re looking for reassurance.

Antidote: Validate and familiarise.

Start by acknowledging their concern. A statement like “You’re right – this would be a new direction for us” signals that you’re listening, not bulldozing.

Next, familiarise them with the idea in small steps. For example, if you’re trying to get buy in for investment into a new HR tech platform, you could say: “Rather than making a full commitment, how about a 10-minute intro chat with the provider? No decisions need to be made, it’s just an opportunity to learn more.”

Bite-sized asks build comfort and lower the perceived risk. 

Read HRM’s article ‘How to make your communication more persuasive’.

Friction #2: Effort – “This sounds like a lot of work.”

Even if stakeholders agree with your idea in principle, they may resist because of the effort they think it will require. 

In corporate environments where people are already at capacity, perceived effort can be as powerful a blocker as any logical objection.

You might hear:

• “I don’t have the bandwidth for this.”
• “It feels like another layer of complexity.”
• “Who’s going to manage this?”
  

Antidote: Make the action easier.

Your job is to reduce cognitive and logistical load. Could you offer to handle the implementation details yourself? Could you make the process plug-and-play? Could you shrink the commitment? 

A simple statement like “You won’t have to be involved in the admin. I’ll manage it end to end” goes a long way.

Another option: reduce the scale. Instead of proposing a change across 20 roles or locations, start with one pilot. Lowering the perceived lift makes it easier to say yes – and once you have a small win, you’ve earned the right to go bigger.

“People naturally cling to what’s familiar, even when ‘good enough’ is quietly holding them back.”

Friction #3: Emotion – “I don’t feel good about this.”

This is the trickiest and most overlooked form of resistance, the kind that hides behind polite nods and surface-level agreement. Sometimes stakeholders hesitate not because of the idea itself, but because of how it makes them feel – exposed, uncertain, threatened, or afraid.

These emotions often live beneath the surface, masked by rational-sounding objections. But if you pay attention, they’re there. Emotional friction can be especially high when stakeholder ego or reputation is on the line.

Antidote: Tune in and name it.

You need to slow down and “read the air” – a Korean concept called nunchi that means tuning into what’s unsaid. Is their voice tight? Did they sigh when you mentioned the idea? Did they pause too long before answering?

Ask about it. Gently. “I noticed you paused when we talked about this – was there something about it that gave you pause?” or “I might be off base, but are you feeling unsure about X?”

People don’t like being corrected, but they love correcting. If you say, “It sounds like you’re feeling sceptical – is that fair?”, they’ll either say yes and explain why, or correct you and give you better data. Either way, you’re opening the door to a much richer discussion that should help to move things in the right direction.

The curse of the passionate: When expertise backfires

One of the most counterintuitive things I teach leaders is that being too passionate about your idea can work against you. I call this the “curse of the passionate.”

You’re so enthusiastic, so convinced of your idea’s brilliance, that you become blind to the resistance cues. You miss the body language, the tone, the hesitation because you’re too busy trying to convince your relevant stakeholder.

This is especially common in HR, where many professionals have spent years trying to prove the strategic value of their function. They’ve invested in certifications, frameworks and thought leadership and, rightly, want to be seen as experts.

But when you lead only with expertise, you risk putting your own ideas at the centre, rather than the person you’re trying to influence. Instead, try shifting the spotlight.

In every stakeholder conversation, remember this: you are not the star of the show. Your idea is not the star of the show. The stakeholder is. Make space for their viewpoint. Spend as much time asking questions as you do presenting benefits. Balance passion with presence.

Presence matters more than polish

One of my favourite phrases is: “Stop taking notes. Start taking notice”.

We often think we’re being attentive by scribbling everything down – especially in high-stakes meetings. But the truth is, presence is what unlocks influence.

When you’re truly present, you notice the subtle cues. You sense when someone’s disengaged. You hear the catch in their voice. You notice the shift in tone. These micro-signals are gold – and they’re impossible to pick up if you’re distracted by your own talking points.

If you feel like you need to capture what’s being said, leverage AI to take the notes. Your job is to notice what AI can’t: tension, tone and what’s being left unsaid.

When to push – and when to pivot

Finally, not every idea is worth fighting for. If, after repeated efforts, you can’t find a shared value or agreement at a foundational level, it may be time to reassess.

For example, if you believe in investing in quality hires, but your stakeholder only cares about the cheapest option, there’s a value-level disconnect. In these cases, try reframing the conversation. Find a new angle. But if there’s no mutual value to anchor into, you might need to consider letting it go.

Some ideas are just not for this leader, this moment, or this organisation. That doesn’t make them bad ideas, it just means they’re not yet ready.

Influence isn’t about overpowering. It’s about attunement. The best HR leaders don’t force ideas through the cracks, they remove the friction that holds them back.

So next time you’re preparing to pitch an idea, remember: fuel alone isn’t enough. Read the air. Honour the resistance. Stay present. And trust that when people feel heard, they don’t just follow – they move.

Henna Pryor, CSP is a dynamic Workplace Performance Expert who speaks and writes about performance mindset, interpersonal dynamics, high-impact communication, and embracing bumps in a world that keeps optimising for smoothness.

Manage the competing demands and priorities of HR stakeholders with more skill and confidence by signing up for AHRI’s Introduction to Overcoming Stakeholder Resistance short course.